Checklists Are Nice, But Chemistry Will Win Everytime

So I met a guy out at the bar last week. He was cute and had some game. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We had barely dropped he and his friend off before the texting started. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to bed. He called the next day, like he said he would. It was interesting because I was already feeling slightly ambivalent about his call at this point. He called and I let it go to voicemail. When I was ready to call him back I couldn't so through texting we established we'd hang out that afternoon.

I went over at 4, the plan was to go for a walk and I wasn't going to stay longer than 2 hrs. Well we never went on the walk and I left at 10:30. It was really hard to turn down such a yummy tasting dinner, that he was cooking. It was hot as hell out so mostly we just laid around on the couch watching t.v.

He nails so many things on my little checklist for a boyfriend. Sweet, complimentary, appreciates/uses sarcasm, can build shit, likes to snuggle, blahblahblah... yet something wasn't quite lining up.

It became pretty clear to me that day that he was more into me than I him. When I was unsure of the next time we could hang out (I had a busy week) he said he was gonna miss me... ummmm.... you don't even know me... Then there was the texting that happened over the next couple of days that I finally had to ask him to slow it down a bit. It was just too much for where I was at. I've felt like there was some role reversal from the beginning. I was more the "guy" and he was more the "girl." And I am so not knocking the getting over excited. I am an easily, easily exciteable gal. However I save the over the top excitement for my friends, unless the excitement seems mutual with the guy then by all means go for it!

It has led me to wonder if woman (in general, of course) are more likely to give a guy a chance if he comes on a little too strong as opposed to the other way around. Don't guys generally run for the hills if a woman texts "i miss u" 3 days after meeting? I discussed such things at length with my sister and she thought I should give him another chance after asking him to tone it down a bit. I agreed. We hung out again on Friday. It was fine and good. This time we hung out on my couch, snuggled a little, kissed a little. He's a good kisser. But the chemistry just is not there for me.

The irony of the whole thing is that before hanging out on Friday I went and saw "(500) Days of Summer" and it is pretty much where this situation has the potential of going. Short summary: Boy meets girl. Girl is ambivalent about having a boyfriend and is up front about it. Boy and Girl have relationship that Boy is far more invested in. Girl breaks Boys heart.

I wouldn't mind a casual end of summer fling or something, but I don't think my new friend could handle that and thus I have to nip this thing in the bud before hearts are broken. I've also decided that I'd so much rather be rejected than have to be the rejector! I have a very strong ego; I can let that shit roll right off of me! But boy does it suck when everything seems to be going swimmingly and he has no idea that I'm actually not on the same page. Then I have to wonder do I awkwardly bring it up? Do I text? Do I call? Do I wait til it comes up in conversation? Do we meet for a drink? Do I just sort of fade away? And at what point is one thing more appropriate than another? I mean, we met one week ago! What is the dating etiquette here? Even though we're not even dating! Ugh.

Is he sitting at home now thinking what amazing great chemistry we have?? Can chemistry be one sided? I think so... I think I've thought there was some chemistry and in the end there wasn't. I guess in the moment it can be hard to be completly objective sometimes. So reflecting back I can see that it was wishful thinking or maybe it was just that one moment.

Eh. I'm off to sit in front of my fan and contemplate doing lots of things that I won't do in actuality.

Yea, total slacker here.

I've completely fallen off the bandwagon and it's horrible. I haven't exercised since before my birthday. I've done some push ups here and there, but does that really count? I think not. I'm sad b/c my arms had started looking so good! I'm usually good for an exercise routine for a couple more weeks than I lasted. After blaming my lack of will power I blame the disgusting August heat and lack of air conditioner. I've exercised w/ just the fan and thought I was gonna die! Hopefully I can pull myself back together when the cooler weather rolls in. I'll keep ya'll posted.

So for now I continue to maintain the weight I am now. I'll have to get my act together for the cooler weather, I'm down a pair of jeans if not. *sigh* This is ridiculous. At the very least I've cut back on some of my unnecessary snacking and I've been eating more fruits and vegetables.

In other news, I'm in love. Not with text boy, that's over. Over before it really began, but that's okay. My first impressions were kinda right, so it's all good. I'm in love with the guy who opened for Edwin McCain when he was in town. His name is Paul Freeman and he's fantastic. Puts on a good show and has a lovely voice. Very charismatic (and I don't use that term lightly). Makes me wish I were back in L.A. so I could go see him play whenever, being that that is where he is based out of right now.

One day I'll even be in love with a guy in my own neighborhood and he'll love me back. It'll be grand. Until then I'll continue being a high schooler with endless crushes, haha. Which is fine by me. Passes the time nicely.

Oh how I've fallen....

...so far off the wagon, sigh. I haven't exercised for a week and a half. Ugh. Of course I have a million reasons why I couldn't, but I won't bore you (or myself) with them. My eating is still whatever, I haven't added gorging or anything. Although, right now I could eat an entire cow I'm that hungry! I managed to spend an extra hour and a half or so on the T that I'm usually accustomed to roundtrip. Hooray for that. I was almost an hour late for work and then took forever to get home. I had a small lunch and wasn't anticipating being home an hour later than usual (I stayed later at work). Blah, blah, blah. I think once I bring myself down to a normal realm of calm and show my apartment in an hour I'll go ahead and get a work out in.

I hate when I fall out of a routine. It's not that I don't dislike exercising, which is the worst part, I enjoy it. I'm having a hard time staying motivated in general. I've always been accountable for myself, evening growing up, so I have a lingering 'but I don't hafta/I don't wanna' attitude. No one's gonna make me, so whatever. It feels a bit bratty, truthfully. And, quite frankly, it makes me a little crazy, a lot of the time.

2 weeks and 2 days in... (otherwise known as 16 days)

I haven't done my weigh in yet, but I suspect that I'll be about the same as last week.

I was intending to do my workout tonight, but I donated blood and was told no working out for 24 hrs! Damn the man. I forgot about that part or I would have considered working out when I woke up this morning. Although I'm already a slacker because tomorrow my inspection sticker will be expired, but the line was too long this morning. I shoulda stuck it out. I woulda been able to get everything else done that I needed to such as donate blood. I didn't have an appointment and was afraid there'd be a lot of walk-ins. When I went there was not and when I left there was still not a lot of people. Of course if I had got my car inspected then I woulda showed up to a 2 hr wait. *sigh*

I've been texting a little bit with text boy. No solid plans made though. At this point I'm more concerned with the fact that I didn't know it was supposed to downpour all afternoon and was in no way prepared. I woulda at least worn flipflops w/ some traction left on the soles so I was slip sliding away! Annoying. And of course I'm out and about walking around all day. Arg.

Cupcakes for lunch

Yea, I said it. Cupcakes for lunch. I had cupcakes for lunch! Then I had some cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and hummus for desert, haha. It's my birthday, I can eat whatever I want!! I had 3 mini cupcakes, plus all the batter and whatnot while I was making them! =) And I haven't worked out and am not going to. I think I pulled a muscle in my leg where it meets my torso; it is sooo sore!! It hurts to walk! I'm a mess with this exercising business, sheesh. My foot is feeling a little better... eh. Whatevs. I'll get there. Slowly but surely.

So hooray for birthdays and hooray for birthday cupcakes!! So delish. Hooray for summer weather which just zaps my appetite. Aside from the cupcakes I have not been that hungry. I did also have a big, delicious breakfast as well. But yea, I'm going out to dinner and I don't feel a bit hungry. I could drink gallons of water though. We're getting into the kind of weather where I just crave sushi and that's about it. Oh how I miss the amount of sushi I used to eat... back in my working days.

Shaving minutes away!

Woohoo! I shaved 7 minutes off my 5 circuit workout! Down from 60 to 53 minutes. I can do this. I'm also super proud because I was EXTRA unmotivated to work out tonight. It was sooo hot today and my living room faces West so it stays hot longer in the evening. It's cooler in the a.m., but I usually don't have time to work out in the morning. Well, okay if I got up an hour or so earlier I could, but 7:15 a.m. is early enough for me, thank you very much. So, yea, I work out in the afternoon or evening. This plan has worked extra well for me up until this week b/c the weather has been very tempermental and not so much with the hot. This week it's 80s and 90s and humid...weeeeeee. I went to bed a little late last night. I only got 7 hours of sleep (gasp! I know, I know, some people would die for that much sleep, but I'm big on my sleep so 8 hrs is my norm) and then was running around all day. By the time I got home, took care of somethings, and fed myself I was languid on the couch. I spent some time trying to convince myself of why it would be okay to switch my day of rest from tomorrow to today and so on and so forth.

As it turns out, when standing directly in front of the fan it wasn't as bad. I was sweaty and sluggish, but I powered through it. I have some how injured the top of my left foot. It feels sore. I don't know if I'm getting the footing wrong on one of the exercises... only on one side though...? Weird. I've been being even more aware of form so hopefully it'll heal up immediately. Did I mention how nicely my arms are coming along in the last post? I don't remember. I know I thought about it, but I'm not sure if I ended up writing about it, haha. I am developing some serious definition and it's pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to when the muscles get even firmer. I don't want anything toooo crazy, but I'm kinda stoked about where they're headed. It's good motivation to keep, keeping up regardless of what the weekly weight loss is or isn't. I understand that I'm not following my caloric intake to a T, so I can't be shocked. I do drink beer 1-4 times a week. And I indulge in a little bit of sweets. Nothing out of control and not daily. Mostly I do stay in my 1,200-1,400 range. I don't snack nearly as much as I used to!! And my obsession about food is waning, phew. I knew it was only a matter of time. Less than 2 weeks; I'll take it.

No real word on text guy. He did say he was interested in grabbing a drink, but he's currently under the weather. The fact that he said yes first does make me not disbelieve the sick part, haha. I'll let him get back to me when he's better if he so desires, but by no means will I sit around and wait to see. I'm not that bad.

Oooh, 10p! Time to shower off and crawl into my bed!! I am puckered out.

Man, it's a hot one.

There's a reason Jillian recommends not exercising between 11-3 during the summer days. Holy moly. And a fan can only take you so far. Then naturally the first circuit was a real ass kicker!! I thought I was gonna pass out. I regained some steam for the last 2 circuits. I rocked out the last one pretty quickly. Overall, however, it still took 60 min. I'll knock those 15 minutes off one of these days. Of course now that I'm starting to get into the groove of the circuits and familiar with the exercises the weather is kicking up 20 notches. In the end I don't really care about the time frame all that much. The more important part is keeping up with the workouts. I could see if it was taking me 2 hours, that'd be a different story.

I must say I'm glad that I have a healthy relationship with food (this current, minor obsession aside, haha). It is SO delicious. I love having all these new recipes and ideas to work from. Given I still fall mostly onto old basics. I'm looking at my stand-bys in a new light. Adding more veggies or different twists. I made a yummy fruit salad yesterday then split it up into smaller tupperware containers. I have found that if I make my food more accessable I'm more likely to eat it as opposed to wasting it. After grocery shopping I'll sit down and prep all my fruit and veggies. Cut them all up, freezing some as needed. I'm more apt to eat my peppers if they're already cut into strips. And it makes dinner time that much quicker. I just ate a very yummy and filling turkey wrap. Turkey, swiss, spinach, red and yellow peppers, avocado, apple slices, mustard and a cream cheese (I know it may sound whacky, but it adds a little something extra) all on a lavash wrap. You can also throw in tomatoes, mushrooms... really whatever you want. It's a little sloppy, messy, but oh so worth it.

I'm off to play with some great kids on the beach... it's gonna be a rough afternoon!