Checklists Are Nice, But Chemistry Will Win Everytime

So I met a guy out at the bar last week. He was cute and had some game. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We had barely dropped he and his friend off before the texting started. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to bed. He called the next day, like he said he would. It was interesting because I was already feeling slightly ambivalent about his call at this point. He called and I let it go to voicemail. When I was ready to call him back I couldn't so through texting we established we'd hang out that afternoon.

I went over at 4, the plan was to go for a walk and I wasn't going to stay longer than 2 hrs. Well we never went on the walk and I left at 10:30. It was really hard to turn down such a yummy tasting dinner, that he was cooking. It was hot as hell out so mostly we just laid around on the couch watching t.v.

He nails so many things on my little checklist for a boyfriend. Sweet, complimentary, appreciates/uses sarcasm, can build shit, likes to snuggle, blahblahblah... yet something wasn't quite lining up.

It became pretty clear to me that day that he was more into me than I him. When I was unsure of the next time we could hang out (I had a busy week) he said he was gonna miss me... ummmm.... you don't even know me... Then there was the texting that happened over the next couple of days that I finally had to ask him to slow it down a bit. It was just too much for where I was at. I've felt like there was some role reversal from the beginning. I was more the "guy" and he was more the "girl." And I am so not knocking the getting over excited. I am an easily, easily exciteable gal. However I save the over the top excitement for my friends, unless the excitement seems mutual with the guy then by all means go for it!

It has led me to wonder if woman (in general, of course) are more likely to give a guy a chance if he comes on a little too strong as opposed to the other way around. Don't guys generally run for the hills if a woman texts "i miss u" 3 days after meeting? I discussed such things at length with my sister and she thought I should give him another chance after asking him to tone it down a bit. I agreed. We hung out again on Friday. It was fine and good. This time we hung out on my couch, snuggled a little, kissed a little. He's a good kisser. But the chemistry just is not there for me.

The irony of the whole thing is that before hanging out on Friday I went and saw "(500) Days of Summer" and it is pretty much where this situation has the potential of going. Short summary: Boy meets girl. Girl is ambivalent about having a boyfriend and is up front about it. Boy and Girl have relationship that Boy is far more invested in. Girl breaks Boys heart.

I wouldn't mind a casual end of summer fling or something, but I don't think my new friend could handle that and thus I have to nip this thing in the bud before hearts are broken. I've also decided that I'd so much rather be rejected than have to be the rejector! I have a very strong ego; I can let that shit roll right off of me! But boy does it suck when everything seems to be going swimmingly and he has no idea that I'm actually not on the same page. Then I have to wonder do I awkwardly bring it up? Do I text? Do I call? Do I wait til it comes up in conversation? Do we meet for a drink? Do I just sort of fade away? And at what point is one thing more appropriate than another? I mean, we met one week ago! What is the dating etiquette here? Even though we're not even dating! Ugh.

Is he sitting at home now thinking what amazing great chemistry we have?? Can chemistry be one sided? I think so... I think I've thought there was some chemistry and in the end there wasn't. I guess in the moment it can be hard to be completly objective sometimes. So reflecting back I can see that it was wishful thinking or maybe it was just that one moment.

Eh. I'm off to sit in front of my fan and contemplate doing lots of things that I won't do in actuality.

Yea, total slacker here.

I've completely fallen off the bandwagon and it's horrible. I haven't exercised since before my birthday. I've done some push ups here and there, but does that really count? I think not. I'm sad b/c my arms had started looking so good! I'm usually good for an exercise routine for a couple more weeks than I lasted. After blaming my lack of will power I blame the disgusting August heat and lack of air conditioner. I've exercised w/ just the fan and thought I was gonna die! Hopefully I can pull myself back together when the cooler weather rolls in. I'll keep ya'll posted.

So for now I continue to maintain the weight I am now. I'll have to get my act together for the cooler weather, I'm down a pair of jeans if not. *sigh* This is ridiculous. At the very least I've cut back on some of my unnecessary snacking and I've been eating more fruits and vegetables.

In other news, I'm in love. Not with text boy, that's over. Over before it really began, but that's okay. My first impressions were kinda right, so it's all good. I'm in love with the guy who opened for Edwin McCain when he was in town. His name is Paul Freeman and he's fantastic. Puts on a good show and has a lovely voice. Very charismatic (and I don't use that term lightly). Makes me wish I were back in L.A. so I could go see him play whenever, being that that is where he is based out of right now.

One day I'll even be in love with a guy in my own neighborhood and he'll love me back. It'll be grand. Until then I'll continue being a high schooler with endless crushes, haha. Which is fine by me. Passes the time nicely.

Oh how I've fallen....

...so far off the wagon, sigh. I haven't exercised for a week and a half. Ugh. Of course I have a million reasons why I couldn't, but I won't bore you (or myself) with them. My eating is still whatever, I haven't added gorging or anything. Although, right now I could eat an entire cow I'm that hungry! I managed to spend an extra hour and a half or so on the T that I'm usually accustomed to roundtrip. Hooray for that. I was almost an hour late for work and then took forever to get home. I had a small lunch and wasn't anticipating being home an hour later than usual (I stayed later at work). Blah, blah, blah. I think once I bring myself down to a normal realm of calm and show my apartment in an hour I'll go ahead and get a work out in.

I hate when I fall out of a routine. It's not that I don't dislike exercising, which is the worst part, I enjoy it. I'm having a hard time staying motivated in general. I've always been accountable for myself, evening growing up, so I have a lingering 'but I don't hafta/I don't wanna' attitude. No one's gonna make me, so whatever. It feels a bit bratty, truthfully. And, quite frankly, it makes me a little crazy, a lot of the time.

2 weeks and 2 days in... (otherwise known as 16 days)

I haven't done my weigh in yet, but I suspect that I'll be about the same as last week.

I was intending to do my workout tonight, but I donated blood and was told no working out for 24 hrs! Damn the man. I forgot about that part or I would have considered working out when I woke up this morning. Although I'm already a slacker because tomorrow my inspection sticker will be expired, but the line was too long this morning. I shoulda stuck it out. I woulda been able to get everything else done that I needed to such as donate blood. I didn't have an appointment and was afraid there'd be a lot of walk-ins. When I went there was not and when I left there was still not a lot of people. Of course if I had got my car inspected then I woulda showed up to a 2 hr wait. *sigh*

I've been texting a little bit with text boy. No solid plans made though. At this point I'm more concerned with the fact that I didn't know it was supposed to downpour all afternoon and was in no way prepared. I woulda at least worn flipflops w/ some traction left on the soles so I was slip sliding away! Annoying. And of course I'm out and about walking around all day. Arg.

Cupcakes for lunch

Yea, I said it. Cupcakes for lunch. I had cupcakes for lunch! Then I had some cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and hummus for desert, haha. It's my birthday, I can eat whatever I want!! I had 3 mini cupcakes, plus all the batter and whatnot while I was making them! =) And I haven't worked out and am not going to. I think I pulled a muscle in my leg where it meets my torso; it is sooo sore!! It hurts to walk! I'm a mess with this exercising business, sheesh. My foot is feeling a little better... eh. Whatevs. I'll get there. Slowly but surely.

So hooray for birthdays and hooray for birthday cupcakes!! So delish. Hooray for summer weather which just zaps my appetite. Aside from the cupcakes I have not been that hungry. I did also have a big, delicious breakfast as well. But yea, I'm going out to dinner and I don't feel a bit hungry. I could drink gallons of water though. We're getting into the kind of weather where I just crave sushi and that's about it. Oh how I miss the amount of sushi I used to eat... back in my working days.

Shaving minutes away!

Woohoo! I shaved 7 minutes off my 5 circuit workout! Down from 60 to 53 minutes. I can do this. I'm also super proud because I was EXTRA unmotivated to work out tonight. It was sooo hot today and my living room faces West so it stays hot longer in the evening. It's cooler in the a.m., but I usually don't have time to work out in the morning. Well, okay if I got up an hour or so earlier I could, but 7:15 a.m. is early enough for me, thank you very much. So, yea, I work out in the afternoon or evening. This plan has worked extra well for me up until this week b/c the weather has been very tempermental and not so much with the hot. This week it's 80s and 90s and humid...weeeeeee. I went to bed a little late last night. I only got 7 hours of sleep (gasp! I know, I know, some people would die for that much sleep, but I'm big on my sleep so 8 hrs is my norm) and then was running around all day. By the time I got home, took care of somethings, and fed myself I was languid on the couch. I spent some time trying to convince myself of why it would be okay to switch my day of rest from tomorrow to today and so on and so forth.

As it turns out, when standing directly in front of the fan it wasn't as bad. I was sweaty and sluggish, but I powered through it. I have some how injured the top of my left foot. It feels sore. I don't know if I'm getting the footing wrong on one of the exercises... only on one side though...? Weird. I've been being even more aware of form so hopefully it'll heal up immediately. Did I mention how nicely my arms are coming along in the last post? I don't remember. I know I thought about it, but I'm not sure if I ended up writing about it, haha. I am developing some serious definition and it's pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to when the muscles get even firmer. I don't want anything toooo crazy, but I'm kinda stoked about where they're headed. It's good motivation to keep, keeping up regardless of what the weekly weight loss is or isn't. I understand that I'm not following my caloric intake to a T, so I can't be shocked. I do drink beer 1-4 times a week. And I indulge in a little bit of sweets. Nothing out of control and not daily. Mostly I do stay in my 1,200-1,400 range. I don't snack nearly as much as I used to!! And my obsession about food is waning, phew. I knew it was only a matter of time. Less than 2 weeks; I'll take it.

No real word on text guy. He did say he was interested in grabbing a drink, but he's currently under the weather. The fact that he said yes first does make me not disbelieve the sick part, haha. I'll let him get back to me when he's better if he so desires, but by no means will I sit around and wait to see. I'm not that bad.

Oooh, 10p! Time to shower off and crawl into my bed!! I am puckered out.

Man, it's a hot one.

There's a reason Jillian recommends not exercising between 11-3 during the summer days. Holy moly. And a fan can only take you so far. Then naturally the first circuit was a real ass kicker!! I thought I was gonna pass out. I regained some steam for the last 2 circuits. I rocked out the last one pretty quickly. Overall, however, it still took 60 min. I'll knock those 15 minutes off one of these days. Of course now that I'm starting to get into the groove of the circuits and familiar with the exercises the weather is kicking up 20 notches. In the end I don't really care about the time frame all that much. The more important part is keeping up with the workouts. I could see if it was taking me 2 hours, that'd be a different story.

I must say I'm glad that I have a healthy relationship with food (this current, minor obsession aside, haha). It is SO delicious. I love having all these new recipes and ideas to work from. Given I still fall mostly onto old basics. I'm looking at my stand-bys in a new light. Adding more veggies or different twists. I made a yummy fruit salad yesterday then split it up into smaller tupperware containers. I have found that if I make my food more accessable I'm more likely to eat it as opposed to wasting it. After grocery shopping I'll sit down and prep all my fruit and veggies. Cut them all up, freezing some as needed. I'm more apt to eat my peppers if they're already cut into strips. And it makes dinner time that much quicker. I just ate a very yummy and filling turkey wrap. Turkey, swiss, spinach, red and yellow peppers, avocado, apple slices, mustard and a cream cheese (I know it may sound whacky, but it adds a little something extra) all on a lavash wrap. You can also throw in tomatoes, mushrooms... really whatever you want. It's a little sloppy, messy, but oh so worth it.

I'm off to play with some great kids on the beach... it's gonna be a rough afternoon!

Day something or other...

Today is my day of rest, but I may still do one of the quick (yet intense) workouts from the Shred dvd. We'll see. So apparently I gained a pound over the week. =( How did that happen?! I've been working out and keeping an eye on my caloric intake. No, I have been no saint, but I've been eating much better than in the past. And, btw, why is eating well so much more money than eating crap?? lol. It's funny I do enjoy fruits and vegetables, very much, but am not usually up on making sure I get enough each week, let alone each day. I'd be proud if I ate a serving of veggies a week, sheesh! As for fruits, I am currently obsessed with watermelon. Oh SO delish!!!

But lets go back to this gaining a pound bit. Ugh. Losing 4lbs in a week was not something I anticipated keeping up at all. I was going to be happy w/ 1-2. So I guess I'm still ahead of the game...? It's still a little discouraging though. I am keeping with it because I do enjoy the good physical health aspect of it. I never was quite taught the importance of good nutrition and whatnot, growing up, so I'm still working on it. I'll get there. Slowly but surely. I find I do better when cooking for others though. Whether it be toddlers or friends, I'm all over it. I make sure to have a well balanced meal. Why is taking care of just myself so hard? *sigh*

I am going to make the most of the last year of my 3rd decade. I've been getting so much better at ignoring my hemming and hawing about things and just doing them. Yesterday I really wanted to do something, but none of my friends were around. One of them told me to take a walk, go to the beach, get out and enjoy the beautiful weather. I hemmed and hawed about it for a little while then I pretty much told myself to stop being a punk. My other option was to sit around, crocheting and watching the ANTM marathon on Bravo. Yes, I do need to get this crochet piece done, however, I still have plenty of time. I also had to take into consideration yesterday was cardio day, so I didn't have any particular preplanned routine to follow. So I took the 1/2hr walk to the beach, laid out for awhile, swam a little bit (oh how I love the water!) and made the 1/2 hr walk home. During my swim I decided I was gonna make a move. I met a guy at my fave bar last week and I hadn't heard from him all week. I was sort of ambivalent about the whole thing so it wasn't a big deal. While swimming I decided "Eff it. I'll send him a text." Haha, I know, the world of texting. Whatever, I'm okay with it. If I preferred calling I woulda called. So I sent him a text. When I got home from the beach I went grocery shopping and got everything I needed on my list and stayed w/in the cash I brought with me.

All in all it's really empowering to just go for it. Just go for that walk. Just go to the beach. Just go for making a move. Just go grocery shopping! Silly as it sounds just going out and getting stuff done, little as it is, it makes a big difference!! And don't wait around for someone to do things with you. You'll miss out on SO much good stuff, trust me I know! I don't always love doing a ton of stuff solo, but yesterday was one of those days and from start to finish it was a blast. I spent a lovely, relaxing couple of hours on the beach, got a lovely walk in, then went out, saw a great band and made a few new friends to boot! Haha. Lots of good times would've been missed if I just stayed on my couch all day and night.

I'll keep ya posted on text boy.

Day 9.... Cookie for me...??

I like that I have now turned any outside anxieties I have onto this food obsession. Again, not super hungry or anything, just used to eating what I want when I want. *sigh* I'm ridiculous. I'm just keep keeping on with the water drinking. I haven't been the most on point with my eating overall, but I have definitely been better. Pretty much as soon as I started getting into the swing of this eating a certain way all this things want to come up throwing off my schedule and where I am for meal times.

I do enjoy the exercising portion of this game. I'm gonna be sad when my schedule changes in the Fall. However since I have these routines I can do while watching t.v. I'll just be bumping my workout time til 8 or 9. I can live with that. And I'm getting my 5 circuits closer to an hour. I figure by Sept. I'll have 'em to 45 minutes. Woot. As I adjust and become accustomed to working out like this I can push myself more and more.

Tomorrow I have a full day and then plans for the evening so I wasn't sure how the exercising was going to fit in. I was going to try to do it yesterday, but didn't get a chance to. I was excited because I was going to get up early and just do one of the workouts from 30-Day Shred. A quick 20 minutes and done. ...Then the mom I sit for on Friday mornings called and asked if I could come an hour earlier than usual. Hope baby sleeps so I can rock my workout during 'sitting time.

Okay off to busy myself making things so I won't think about how I'm not snacking. Have I mentioned how ridiculous I am?!

Walking in Sunshine and Day 7

Yesterday I more than made up for the "Cardio Day" that I skipped on Saturday. I walked in all over 3 hrs and around 9 miles. My little charge fell asleep on the way to the playground, so I decided to go for a walk as it was a beautiful day. So an hour or so later I was done for. I then ended up walking 4 more miles in the afternoon (2 miles then 2 miles later). I was exhausted to say the least. I put myself to bed at 10. I still hadn't recovered from my 4 nights, in a row(!), of a messed up sleep. I put myself to bed around 10 Sunday night as well. I'm slowly getting there. I plan to go to bed as soon as I type this up, so you better believe I'm gonna make it quick.

Because of my walkathon yesterday I felt okay skipping my circuit for the day. That and I got home at quarter to 9, I needed to have dinner and that was about all I had energy for. Today I jumped back into! It felt good too! I missed it. I'm digging being able to do it while watching t.v. I extra have no excuse. However I don't reccommend trying to do the circuits in a timely manner while watching anything to do with the Deaf. I was stoked that the repeat of Cold Case that focused on a Deaf teen was replaying. Then there was the whole thing of having to stop or crane my neck and get all distracted when they were signing. Oh well, haha.

One last thought: You know when you do something long enough you become used to it. How long is long enough for exercise?! Sheesh! Jillian does love her jumping jacks! I feel like she sneaks enough in that I should be able to hang in like a champ even when I end up doing 6 min. in a circuit (3 2 min reps). I'll go ahead and say it is more to do w/ the other reps of exercising I'm doing... yea. That's it. No it's not. I'm still kinda wussy. *sigh* If I had to just do 6 min. of jumping jacks w/ no other exercises I'd still be hurtin' 1/2 way through... 1/3 of the way through!

Okay I'm outtie. Hooray for bedtime! (Oh yea, still drinking water like crazy. Even though I drink all morning, still pretty starving by lunch! My poor tummy and all the over feeding I've done to it.)

Day... 5

What a crazy, inconducive to staying on track weekend! I did my best(ish) though. I will say though I weighed in first thing Saturday morning (Friday's supposed to be my check-in day, but I didn't get a chance to) and had shed 4 lbs! I know your weight fluctuates a little bit during the day and all, but whatevs, I'm taking it!

Friday started off well and good, but I was thrown a little for my afternoon snack. I had a little over 1/2 a piece of cake. In my defense I was exhausted from my sleep schedule being royally thrown out of whack Wednesday and Thursday night, it was a very hot day and there was a death in the family (expected, but nonetheless a death). So I was functioning not at regular levels. I also had had plans to have a friend over for dinner (tofu vegetable stir fry w/ brown rice!!) and then we went out for drinks.

Saturday was thrown off b/c Friday ended up being a much later night than I had been anticipating. Foodwise, so-so. Breakfast and Lunch were fine, but I fell apart a little after that. Nothing drastic because now I have this extra awareness and consciousness of what I'm putting into my body. I didn't get to exercise officially, but I did walk around the mall and Wal-mart... does that count?

Which brings us to today... I did great for breakfast and lunch then was forced to get ice cream with my sisters, haha. The kiddie size was what one might expect a small to be. For what it's worth though I'll probably have a very light dinner. Still feeling a little gross after that one. I'm gonna let it cool down a bit then I'll exercise. If I can make it that long. I may be going to bed 'round 8 as Saturday night was no better for sleep.

Back on the horse tomorrow! I am determined to get back into my capris before summer goes into hibernation!

Day 2.... *Sigh*

Okay so day 2 started out just fine. I had my foods planned out, my exercise time planned out, hooray! 'Round about 1:30 some plans got changed. I was suppose to be babysitting at 6, but Mom called and asked if I could come at 5 and take the precious tot out to dinner so they could get stuff done around the apartment (they are making a biiiig move). Of course she wanted me to take him to this diner that had his most favoritest french fries...

For me the hardest part of this getting fit thing is limiting what I'm eating and so forth. And it's not any huge reason where I have a weird relationship with food or anything like that. I think it is simply that I'm being "told" that I can't eat what I want when I want, even if it's in moderation. I miss my random snacking!! But if I want to lose weight, right, I have to cut some calories out. Is it bad that I can't wait until I lose it so I can go back to a higher calorie diet?! lol. I'll be going back into maintenance mode which means back up to a regular 2,000 ish calorie diet. Which is probably about what I maintain when I'm not being distracted by life changes and whatnot. Yea, so now that I can't have all the food I want, I want it. How old am I?! Sheesh.

Now I am obsessed with food. I think about it all the time and consequently the last two days have drank obscene amounts of water (for me anyway). I've managed to polish off the big Sigg water bottle between breakfast and lunch. Then I think I get another round in for the rest of the day. I know it's still falling short on how much I should be drinking daily, but like I said, big improvement for me. I've had an almond butter and jelly sandwich the past two days for lunch and let me tell you, I have never made a sandwich last so long in my life!! I take small bites, put it all the way down on my plate and let it go, chew slowly, pick it back up and repeat. Who knew?! It's making me realize how insanely fast I can inhale my food and barely even taste it! I served out portion sizes to myself for dinner last night... wow! And the thing is, I ate slowly and felt satisfied after. Of course I could've eaten more because I'm so used to eating more. It'll be nice when my stomach readjusts itself to my new...diet.... I use that word reluctantly because of the connotations it conjures up. By diet I mean the way that I am eating not as in I'm only eating green things, etc. When I reach my goal weight I'm not going to immediately go back to having 3 serving sized dinners and whatnot. No, I will carry all this stuff I'm learning about healthy eating with me. I'll still take into account calories, but not obsessively so. I don't have time for that. I'll just incorporate it into the routine and let it be. If I want a beer I'll have a beer. I allow myself to splurge because I do it in moderation.

Well anyway. I was able to get home and get in my exercise routine before having to head back out for the night time gig. Good thing. I've justified eating 1/2 a pastrami sub, a handful of french fries and 3/4 of a small cantaloupe sorbet b/c it was kind of like a last date. It was a special occasion. It was my last solo outing with this ridiculously adorable, funny little man (I'm sitting for him in the morning, but w/ a friend of his as well). So it was touch and go with the food thing tonight, but other than that Day 2 was fine. I made the most of the walk to and from the diner (about 1 mile each way), then I was lifting and carrying heavy things (I got some cool "new" things) to my car. I broke a sweat, but that may have been a little to do with the humidity, the lifting too! Don't get me wrong...

It's interesting having this raised awareness about my physical health and the foods that I'm eating. This is good though because I've been trying to eat better for a long time. This forces me to make sure to have fruits and vegetables all the time!

Okay I'm off to drink more water and wait out this desire to be continuously eating (mind you I'm not even particularly hungry).

Jillian Michaels is gonna be my new BFF

Okay so since being back in Boston I put on a few pounds. I discovered this when in May I busted out my summer capris, all excited like, and put them on. Technically they fit, but I'm not really that interested in the sausagey look or splitting my seams, soooo, yea. I've been exercising on and off since then, but with not much luck. At first I dropped a pound or two, then I gained 6, umm, what?! I'm telling myself that it's gotta be muscle mass as I've put on about 3 of that after working out pretty consistently. I've been doing lots of push-ups and strength trainging stuff, so I'm not completely delusional. I have noticed more definition in my arms, it's kinda sweet. Yesterday I noticed these cute little line dimples in the backs of my shoulders from where the muscle is growing.

I discovered ExerciseTV on OnDemand (do all cable companies have OnDemand?) and have been utilizing various free programs that range from a few minutes to an hour generally. I highly recommend it to everyone who has access to it, there is truly something for everyone.

While doing these routines I discovered that I'm definitely someone who needs someone to kick my butt. I don't like soft, slow moving routines. Let's pick up the pace, let's kick this out! Jillian Michaels has a section for her work out routines. Now Jillian scares me a little, I'm not gonna lie, but I decided to check out one of her routines. I could hang with a 20 min workout! Give me intense, please b/c in the end it'll be over quick enough.

I fell in love.

So I spent a few weeks debating on whether to purchase her 30-Day Shred DVD. Would it be one of those things once I bought I lost interest in? Am I more likely to do the 2/3rds of it available OnDemand b/c it's free? Dilemma! I really wanted that 3rd level. While I was contemplating the purchase of said DVD I went and checked out http://www.blogger.com/www.jillianmichaels.com. I checked out some stuff on the site (lots to check out). Took the free weight-loss plan and opted in to the Jillian Michaels newsletter as well. Of course they give you a taste of all the cool things that can be available to you for just $4/wk. Fitness and diet plans tailored to you (based on your answers from the quiz) and lots of tools and gadgets to help you keep track, etc.

I kept on trucking with my OnDemand exercising until I got an email that offered the 30-Day Shred DVD, her book and 4 wks free online access for $20 (including s & h). I initially ignored it, but didn't delete it. A few days later I was ready to take the plunge. I'm really glad I did. I was going to go ahead and buy the DVD b/c I knew I'd utilize it (I'm determined to not have to buy new pants! I'd rather spend the money on other things, like exercise dvds!). So for $5 more I thought why not get a book and access to the website.

I made the purchase last night and had a look around. Very impressive. Jillian knows what's up. Today I officially started. I have work out plans for 5 days (2 days of rest, you choose which two from 3 diff options), each day is something different. 5 circuits with different exercises each time (the same exercises pop up but in different orders). Then I have a whole weeks worth of meals planned out for me (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner). There are tons of recipes that you can add to your favorites section and swap out from your given meals. There are places to keep track of your weight, exercise and food. All sorts of calculators to calculate things like heart rate, ideal weight, calories, etc. And so far I've found it very comprehensive! If you don't eat what's on the meal plan you just add what you ate. There's quite the database of food in there or it gives you the option to add it in yourself.

The exercises are really doable and requires little to no equipment. Definitely get some hand weights if you don't have them. I wanted to be badass and got 5 pounders. I curse myself through most of the exercises, haha. If you want to challenge yourself go for 5s otherwise 3s are very sufficient. The individual plans you get from signing up are 5 circiuts w/ 2-3 exercises and 3 reps usually of 15. I did my first one today, even though it was my day to rest. I was excited to get started and I have a busy day and night on Friday so I thought I'd swap for this week. It took me over an hour, I went slow. The trade off of not having Jillian set the pace is that you can watch or listen to whatever you want. The 30-Day Shred is 3 circuits of strength, cardio and abs, very intense and Jillian does an AWESOME job (in my opinion) of keeping you motivated and wanting to keep going. That and, really, it's ONLY 20 minutes including a few minutes for warm up and cool down! So doable! And make sure you have a towel on hand b/c you most certainly will be sweating!

So I'm gonna blog about my experience with Jillian Michaels and my progress as I try to knock off 20 lbs. I want my pants to be a little loose, give myself some wiggle room! I took all my measurements and my before pictures so I am ready, ready!

Wish me luck!