Checklists Are Nice, But Chemistry Will Win Everytime

So I met a guy out at the bar last week. He was cute and had some game. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We had barely dropped he and his friend off before the texting started. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to bed. He called the next day, like he said he would. It was interesting because I was already feeling slightly ambivalent about his call at this point. He called and I let it go to voicemail. When I was ready to call him back I couldn't so through texting we established we'd hang out that afternoon.

I went over at 4, the plan was to go for a walk and I wasn't going to stay longer than 2 hrs. Well we never went on the walk and I left at 10:30. It was really hard to turn down such a yummy tasting dinner, that he was cooking. It was hot as hell out so mostly we just laid around on the couch watching t.v.

He nails so many things on my little checklist for a boyfriend. Sweet, complimentary, appreciates/uses sarcasm, can build shit, likes to snuggle, blahblahblah... yet something wasn't quite lining up.

It became pretty clear to me that day that he was more into me than I him. When I was unsure of the next time we could hang out (I had a busy week) he said he was gonna miss me... ummmm.... you don't even know me... Then there was the texting that happened over the next couple of days that I finally had to ask him to slow it down a bit. It was just too much for where I was at. I've felt like there was some role reversal from the beginning. I was more the "guy" and he was more the "girl." And I am so not knocking the getting over excited. I am an easily, easily exciteable gal. However I save the over the top excitement for my friends, unless the excitement seems mutual with the guy then by all means go for it!

It has led me to wonder if woman (in general, of course) are more likely to give a guy a chance if he comes on a little too strong as opposed to the other way around. Don't guys generally run for the hills if a woman texts "i miss u" 3 days after meeting? I discussed such things at length with my sister and she thought I should give him another chance after asking him to tone it down a bit. I agreed. We hung out again on Friday. It was fine and good. This time we hung out on my couch, snuggled a little, kissed a little. He's a good kisser. But the chemistry just is not there for me.

The irony of the whole thing is that before hanging out on Friday I went and saw "(500) Days of Summer" and it is pretty much where this situation has the potential of going. Short summary: Boy meets girl. Girl is ambivalent about having a boyfriend and is up front about it. Boy and Girl have relationship that Boy is far more invested in. Girl breaks Boys heart.

I wouldn't mind a casual end of summer fling or something, but I don't think my new friend could handle that and thus I have to nip this thing in the bud before hearts are broken. I've also decided that I'd so much rather be rejected than have to be the rejector! I have a very strong ego; I can let that shit roll right off of me! But boy does it suck when everything seems to be going swimmingly and he has no idea that I'm actually not on the same page. Then I have to wonder do I awkwardly bring it up? Do I text? Do I call? Do I wait til it comes up in conversation? Do we meet for a drink? Do I just sort of fade away? And at what point is one thing more appropriate than another? I mean, we met one week ago! What is the dating etiquette here? Even though we're not even dating! Ugh.

Is he sitting at home now thinking what amazing great chemistry we have?? Can chemistry be one sided? I think so... I think I've thought there was some chemistry and in the end there wasn't. I guess in the moment it can be hard to be completly objective sometimes. So reflecting back I can see that it was wishful thinking or maybe it was just that one moment.

Eh. I'm off to sit in front of my fan and contemplate doing lots of things that I won't do in actuality.

Yea, total slacker here.

I've completely fallen off the bandwagon and it's horrible. I haven't exercised since before my birthday. I've done some push ups here and there, but does that really count? I think not. I'm sad b/c my arms had started looking so good! I'm usually good for an exercise routine for a couple more weeks than I lasted. After blaming my lack of will power I blame the disgusting August heat and lack of air conditioner. I've exercised w/ just the fan and thought I was gonna die! Hopefully I can pull myself back together when the cooler weather rolls in. I'll keep ya'll posted.

So for now I continue to maintain the weight I am now. I'll have to get my act together for the cooler weather, I'm down a pair of jeans if not. *sigh* This is ridiculous. At the very least I've cut back on some of my unnecessary snacking and I've been eating more fruits and vegetables.

In other news, I'm in love. Not with text boy, that's over. Over before it really began, but that's okay. My first impressions were kinda right, so it's all good. I'm in love with the guy who opened for Edwin McCain when he was in town. His name is Paul Freeman and he's fantastic. Puts on a good show and has a lovely voice. Very charismatic (and I don't use that term lightly). Makes me wish I were back in L.A. so I could go see him play whenever, being that that is where he is based out of right now.

One day I'll even be in love with a guy in my own neighborhood and he'll love me back. It'll be grand. Until then I'll continue being a high schooler with endless crushes, haha. Which is fine by me. Passes the time nicely.

Oh how I've fallen....

...so far off the wagon, sigh. I haven't exercised for a week and a half. Ugh. Of course I have a million reasons why I couldn't, but I won't bore you (or myself) with them. My eating is still whatever, I haven't added gorging or anything. Although, right now I could eat an entire cow I'm that hungry! I managed to spend an extra hour and a half or so on the T that I'm usually accustomed to roundtrip. Hooray for that. I was almost an hour late for work and then took forever to get home. I had a small lunch and wasn't anticipating being home an hour later than usual (I stayed later at work). Blah, blah, blah. I think once I bring myself down to a normal realm of calm and show my apartment in an hour I'll go ahead and get a work out in.

I hate when I fall out of a routine. It's not that I don't dislike exercising, which is the worst part, I enjoy it. I'm having a hard time staying motivated in general. I've always been accountable for myself, evening growing up, so I have a lingering 'but I don't hafta/I don't wanna' attitude. No one's gonna make me, so whatever. It feels a bit bratty, truthfully. And, quite frankly, it makes me a little crazy, a lot of the time.