Checklists Are Nice, But Chemistry Will Win Everytime

So I met a guy out at the bar last week. He was cute and had some game. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We had barely dropped he and his friend off before the texting started. I chalked it up to the drinking and went to bed. He called the next day, like he said he would. It was interesting because I was already feeling slightly ambivalent about his call at this point. He called and I let it go to voicemail. When I was ready to call him back I couldn't so through texting we established we'd hang out that afternoon.

I went over at 4, the plan was to go for a walk and I wasn't going to stay longer than 2 hrs. Well we never went on the walk and I left at 10:30. It was really hard to turn down such a yummy tasting dinner, that he was cooking. It was hot as hell out so mostly we just laid around on the couch watching t.v.

He nails so many things on my little checklist for a boyfriend. Sweet, complimentary, appreciates/uses sarcasm, can build shit, likes to snuggle, blahblahblah... yet something wasn't quite lining up.

It became pretty clear to me that day that he was more into me than I him. When I was unsure of the next time we could hang out (I had a busy week) he said he was gonna miss me... ummmm.... you don't even know me... Then there was the texting that happened over the next couple of days that I finally had to ask him to slow it down a bit. It was just too much for where I was at. I've felt like there was some role reversal from the beginning. I was more the "guy" and he was more the "girl." And I am so not knocking the getting over excited. I am an easily, easily exciteable gal. However I save the over the top excitement for my friends, unless the excitement seems mutual with the guy then by all means go for it!

It has led me to wonder if woman (in general, of course) are more likely to give a guy a chance if he comes on a little too strong as opposed to the other way around. Don't guys generally run for the hills if a woman texts "i miss u" 3 days after meeting? I discussed such things at length with my sister and she thought I should give him another chance after asking him to tone it down a bit. I agreed. We hung out again on Friday. It was fine and good. This time we hung out on my couch, snuggled a little, kissed a little. He's a good kisser. But the chemistry just is not there for me.

The irony of the whole thing is that before hanging out on Friday I went and saw "(500) Days of Summer" and it is pretty much where this situation has the potential of going. Short summary: Boy meets girl. Girl is ambivalent about having a boyfriend and is up front about it. Boy and Girl have relationship that Boy is far more invested in. Girl breaks Boys heart.

I wouldn't mind a casual end of summer fling or something, but I don't think my new friend could handle that and thus I have to nip this thing in the bud before hearts are broken. I've also decided that I'd so much rather be rejected than have to be the rejector! I have a very strong ego; I can let that shit roll right off of me! But boy does it suck when everything seems to be going swimmingly and he has no idea that I'm actually not on the same page. Then I have to wonder do I awkwardly bring it up? Do I text? Do I call? Do I wait til it comes up in conversation? Do we meet for a drink? Do I just sort of fade away? And at what point is one thing more appropriate than another? I mean, we met one week ago! What is the dating etiquette here? Even though we're not even dating! Ugh.

Is he sitting at home now thinking what amazing great chemistry we have?? Can chemistry be one sided? I think so... I think I've thought there was some chemistry and in the end there wasn't. I guess in the moment it can be hard to be completly objective sometimes. So reflecting back I can see that it was wishful thinking or maybe it was just that one moment.

Eh. I'm off to sit in front of my fan and contemplate doing lots of things that I won't do in actuality.